FLAMING HEADPHONES ASKED TO LOWER THE VOLUME; DECKS 'HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A LOWER SETTING'

The Gallery this week borrows DJ Meesh: Headphones On from the Sketchbook: a neon poster of two turntables, a glowing deck and, floating above them, a pair of headphones that are very much on fire.

It is, by some distance, the loudest thing on the walls. Visitors arriving from this week's front page, where a debate is lost by the man with the biggest voice, have taken to standing in front of it with their hands over their ears, which docents call "the correct response." Kahn Sole of the Retro Desk notes that the mixer's dial clearly goes to eleven, "a setting pioneered by a British rock band in 1984 and never improved upon."

Curators read the piece gently. "Everything in it is turned all the way up," said a docent. "The lights, the colours, the fire. It's a portrait of the moment you believe volume is the same as value. The headphones are what that costs." She declined to say more and pointed visitors to the front page for the rest.

The Gallery has fitted the frame with a small brass dial marked QUIET. Staff report it has been turned exactly once this week, by a visitor in a pilot's jacket, who said nothing and walked on.