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SLOGAN
T-SHIRTS:
OFF DUTY.
MAN:
ON.

NOW WITH
AN ACTUAL
PERSON
INSIDE.

All the news you wish you hadn't read.

VOL. 2610, NO. 3 · PRICE: 1 Loud T-Shirt (Retired) RIYADH: 31°. GOTHAM OVERCAST. DRESS FOR THE DAY YOU NEED. SUNDAY, OCT. 18, 2026
BREAKING
QUOTE OF THE DAY: “I said yes. Even when I wasn't sure. Even when I was quietly holding my breath.”CARTOON T-SHIRT DENIES IT WAS 'EVER THAT OBNOXIOUS', CITES PUNSCOLOGNE BOTTLE PLACED ON INDEFINITE LEAVE; 'NO HARD FEELINGS'HALLWAY MIRROR CONFIRMS IT 'AGREES TO NOTHING' BEFORE 7 AMSTORMTROOPER ARMOUR CRIES 'ONLY ON THE INSIDE'; AIM STILL UNDER REVIEWTHIS WEEK IN MiKS: THE COSTUMEQUOTE OF THE DAY: “I said yes. Even when I wasn't sure. Even when I was quietly holding my breath.”CARTOON T-SHIRT DENIES IT WAS 'EVER THAT OBNOXIOUS', CITES PUNSCOLOGNE BOTTLE PLACED ON INDEFINITE LEAVE; 'NO HARD FEELINGS'HALLWAY MIRROR CONFIRMS IT 'AGREES TO NOTHING' BEFORE 7 AMSTORMTROOPER ARMOUR CRIES 'ONLY ON THE INSIDE'; AIM STILL UNDER REVIEWTHIS WEEK IN MiKS: THE COSTUME

THOBE: TEN. FRAGRANCE: WRONG EVENT.

A Retrospective in Three Looks, From Loud American Tees to Party Cologne at a Funeral, Finds His Clothes Were a Costume.

From the Blog · Fashion Week

A Retrospective in Three Looks: Loud Tees, a Party Fragrance at a Funeral, and the Thobe

Fashion Correspondent, The Spoiler Alert

RIYADH — The season's most candid retrospective opened Sunday, August 31, 2025, in a blog post, "The Outfit Was Doing The Talking," in which local man Mishal Samman reviews his wardrobe and concludes it was "a costume": "a carefully curated billboard."

The first collection, late 80s to early 90s, is "all jeans and loud American T-shirts": wordplay, cartoons, sarcasm. The brief, in the designer's words: "I was dressing to not be seen as Saudi." The post names no cartoons. Kahn Sole of the Nerd Panel has submitted forty anyway.

Then the turning point. At the funeral of a distant relative, Mr. Samman wore a thobe, correctly, and "sprayed cologne like I was heading to a party." Someone pulled him aside, gently: "It's a funeral," they said. "Maybe... not the perfume." Fitz Chekk, fit-check columnist, scored it "thobe, ten; fragrance, dressed for a different event."

What stayed with him, he writes, was the line: "I realized I didn't even see the line I crossed." He wasn't trying to disrespect his culture, the post says; he "just hadn't claimed it." Auntie Climax, neighbourhood aunty, said she would have mentioned the cologne herself, "and the T-shirts, in 1989."

The current collection is mostly thobes, which are "easier when you've got a little extra around the middle." Asked whether this means he is eating properly, Auntie Climax said yes. The retrospective closes quietly: "for years, the outfit did the talking. Now? I'd rather just be heard."

I wasn't dressing for comfort. I was dressing to not be seen as Saudi.— Mr. Samman, in writing, on the late-80s collection
Continued on Page 2 →

Mr. Samman, in a plain white shirt, folds a Mickey Mouse T-shirt at the podium. The post names no cartoons; our photo desk picked one. The stormtrooper picked himself.

The Real Story

The Outfit Was Doing The Talking

Mishal Samman · Aug. 31, 2025

As a teenager in the late '80s and early '90s, Mishal wore jeans and loud American T-shirts, partly so he wouldn't be boxed into what people assumed being Saudi had to look like. He wasn't rejecting his culture; he just hadn't claimed it yet, until a relative gently steered him away from party cologne at a family funeral.

That small moment showed him he had been performing for a version of his family that never existed. These days he mostly wears thobes, at peace with being both, and lets his presence speak louder than his outfit.

Read the real story →

Reader Poll

What is your outfit saying today?

Several respondents' T-shirts answered on their behalf. Those votes have been discounted.

Clip & Save

On The Air

GROWN MAN WITH OWN MONEY NEEDED THREE EXCUSES TO BUY A COSTUME, EPISODE REVEALS

Released on Halloween: Three Posts, Three Costumes (a Calm Face, a Helmet and a Smile at a Silent Group Chat).

Music Desk

This week's episode, released on Halloween, brings the receipts. The host was an adult who "earned my own money," yet the costumes needed excuses: "the premiere of Revenge of the Sith," then "events," then "I joined the 501st Legion ... it's official now." In the suit: "I was badass."

Then a hospital visit: "Behind the helmet, I cried. Hard." Also in the episode: a calm face worn through a mid-flight emergency, and a group-chat joke that got "Not even a 'seen.'" Reply to someone today. A nod will do.

Continued on Page 3 → Listen to the episode

Exclusive

Leaked Script Reveals What This Website Is Really About

Sources close to the production confirm the pages were never meant to be seen.

INT. WEBSITE – NIGHT

MEESH

CORRECTIONS

In last week's edition we reported that Mr. Samman broke the first rule of a basement club. We can now confirm he was wearing a T-shirt with a pun on it at the time. The T-shirt has asked us to clarify that it broke no rules. It merely said something. Imperial HR has asked us to add that it has no form for that either.

CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALE — Forty (40) loud American T-shirts, late 80s to early 90s. Puns, cartoons, sarcasm. Each still has opinions. One is haunted; a team in beige jumpsuits has quoted for removal. Will not go quietly.

WANTED — Someone to say "Hey, I saw you earlier." No speech required. A nod in passing is fine. A handshake is generous.

THE NEWSROOM

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF M.K. Samman · MANAGING EDITOR Ed Ittorial · HEADLINES Heddy Lyne · DEADLINES Dedd Lyne · CORRECTIONS Cora Rekshun · FACT-CHECKING Faye Chekk (on leave) · PHOTOGRAPHY Papa Ratzy · OPINION Opie Edd · PRESS OFFICE Preston Release

Letters to the Editor →

From the Editor's Desk

Some mornings you dress for the day you need to have, not the one you are actually having. The clothes become the decision — the first performance of the self before the self has fully arrived. This issue is for the quiet theater of getting dressed, and what it means when the costume stops being a choice and becomes a necessity.

— Ed Ittorial, Managing Editor

Back Issues

The last three Sundays. Anything older has been used to wrap shawarma.